- Mon Sep 25, 2017 2:28 pm
April 15th, 2012
I wish other people could hear it the way I do. This city. My city. It's raucous and loud, uncouth in some parts. Taxis honking at all hours of the damned night, people yelling and screaming. And God help you on a game day, because every telly will be on and every fan screaming their heads off. Every pub will be filled with drinking and carousing. But I love it. It seeps into me and fills my bones. I can't sleep without the sounds of London caressing me with all of its harshness. It's a beautiful city, from the stately and historic monuments right on down to the filthy alleyways...it was a city of empires, the Queen City of the world at one point. More has happened on one street of this city than has happened in some countries.
It's beautiful, and it's mine. Not mine to own, or to lord over, but mine to protect. We are supposed to protect the things precious to us, and this city? It's my home. It was mine to protect when I was seventeen and signing my life to government service. It was mine to protect when I retired and took a job at Mi5. It's still mine to protect as I wear the cowl and horns of the Devil of London. I love this city, and I'd die to protect it.
The squall of humanity was overwhelming when I first became other. Now, I couldn't imagine life without he constant background thrum of heartbeats, breathing, moving, living...being. The idea of human beings is more real to me now. I've never felt more connected to my fellow man than I do now, now that I'm distinctly other than human. I've given up humanity to serve and protect my city, my people. I'm not their hero, but I'll be their defender.
And people...let me talk about people. The way I see them? As if God has granted me His sight on how we His children look to him, uniquely shaped and identically crafted with care. Every emotion is open to me all the time. I know when someone is sad, disappointed, angry, scared, happy, in love...I know before they do, sometimes.
It's...overwhelming. Its beautiful. I could spend all day just people watching. The most mundane of tasks has become increasingly important to me because it's a person doing it. Do you understand how important people are? Think of all the people you see every day. Even just on your way up the stairs to your office...and imagine knowing what each of them is feeling. That's where I live. That's my life and my perception. I could lose myself in a crowd, forget where my body is and just...exist. Just perpetually BE in a swarm of lives and feelings and breathing and heartbeats. It's magnificent. It's terrifying.
Humans are so strong and so fragile all at once. And not just physically. But emotionally? There's nothing like seeing someone gird up their courage up. To see it in their body temperature, their muscle tension, their hormones. It's an entirely different kind of expression...I wish you could see people the way I do.