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#11203
(Continued from: Burning Questions)

MI:5 Hounds HQ
Director Jones' Office
Approx. Time: 3 am


Katarina walked the whole way without turning back to look at Orion Burgess. What was the point? So some kid, at least a decade younger than her, can tell her what a bloody fool she's been since Matt left? Things were difficult as it was dealing with the fact that she had this magical blood out of nowhere! Came in like a freight train and barreled her over. Then she lost someone she truly cared about. Then she started losing herself...somewhere between her job and all the drinking, she lost herself.

Dammit, Kat really wanted a cigarette.

When she reached the door, she balled her fist and knocked, three heavy raps on the Director's office. It was an ungodly hour, but the light was on. She knew after the bullshit that happened at the slaver ring op, Jones had to be in. "Oh Boss..." Katarina said, sing-songedly, as she rolled her eyes, "Apparently I'm in trouble." She'd been able to reflect on her actions in the interrogation cells on her walk up here, and she suddenly...didn't care. Whatever Jones was going to do didn't bother her. Write her up? Go for it. Fire her? Sure. Katarina was getting sick of this place and resented it for everything that was happening to her now...

When there was no answer, she sighed, incredibly irritated at that. She knocked again, harder this time.
#11214
Orion watched the older agent with concern and sorrow. She used to be so much more. More happy, more fun, more engaged, more alive. She was the saddest victim, Orion thought, of the whole Devil fallout. He'd never verbalized it, but it scared him at how far Katarina had fallen.

Two figures were approaching from behind them, so Orion turned to see who approached. Director Jones was with anther woman, shirt and round faced. Both looked exhausted. Jones looked irritated at Katarina, but the shorter woman put a hand in her arm to keep her from speaking sharply.

"Hello Agent Bauer, Agent Burgess. Terrible night we're having, isn't it? Lord knows I'll be up to my eyes in paperwork for the next week or so."

Somehow, the shorter woman bubbled energy even at this early hour. Jones unlocked her office door and let them all inside.

Since there were only two chairs for guests, Orion relinquished his seat and opted to lean on the wall by the door instead. Interestingly, Jones closed the door and locked it. Normally, she left it unlocked.
#11221
Katarina looked back and cast a glare over her shoulder before turning around to face her director, accompanied by a stranger. A woman. She nodded, though only slightly to the acknowledgement and greeting but didn't engage any further. She simply sighed and entered the room once the door was unlocked, and was almost too stubborn to take a chair. Getting seated only meant she was going to be in for a long ass reprimand, and at 3:00 a.m., who the hell wanted any of that? However, when Orion decided not to take a seat, she pulled one of the guest chairs to the side, a comfortable enough distance away from the stranger, and plopped down into the chair. She folded her arms and crossed her legs, a clear sign she was closed off and opposed to most everything that was about to happen.

She gave one last look at Orion. Expressionless. Listless. Anxious...and just exhausted. Her eyes must have been a bit bloodshot too as she'd been up for almost a full day. She'd been losing so much sleep lately, everything was starting to blur anyway.

Whatever Jones had to say, she hoped she'd done it quick like ripping off a bandaid, or to a higher extreme: seppuku. Make the strike swift and let it be done with. Katarina just wanted to leave. Smoke a cigarette, have a drink, and lay in bed before having to come back to this god damn hole again.

That is, if she'd have the luxury of going home tonight, after the ambush. After that stunt, even. She wondered if she'd be leaving MI:5 paranormal with her badge in hand...or not.
#11223
This was a disaster. A complete and utter, tits up, hell hole of a disaster. Doctor Clark took a seat, adjusting it to watch Katarina. Orion stood stiff, wand out, as he leaned against the wall. Kat looked like a petulant child. That left it to Jones to start this tribunal.

"I received a call from the tech squad. I haven't reviewed the video of your actions yet, but I'm pretty horrified at the verbal reports. Worse still, the medical team called me telling me that they can't get Cox to shut up about begging them to beg me to be lenient on you. He won't shut up about you being sick. I have no idea why I'm humoring him other than I think he's right. So you have one chance, Bauer. Work with Doctor Clark while you take a sabbatical from the office work, no cut in pay or benefits, or turn in your wand, your badge, and get out of my department."

Doctor Clark looked over at Jones quickly, not anticipating such a harsh ultimatum. Likewise, Orion seemed confused. He'd expected a reprimand and the firing, but the chance of redemption?
#11229
Katarina kept her head down but her eyes were peering up at Director Jones. She didn't, however, flinch at any of what was being said. Matt kept saying she was sick? There was a roar of laughter in her head, and hints of a smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth. When Jones gave her the one option of working with the department shrink, there was a flicker of annoyance in her eyes as she took in the sight of the newcomer. So this must be Dr. Clark... She at least waited until she brought her gaze down and away from Jones before she scoffed and rolled her eyes. While a pay cut was a beautiful thing to hear, she was already put off by Jones' tone. Could she blame her? No, not really. But it was still irritating nonetheless. No one understood her. Not even Wayne or Will understood what she'd been through, and the war raging on in her head.

[Shrink? Damn, that is all time low, innit?]
/Screw this place./
(No, you need to keep your cool and--)
[Just go. Might do you some good to find someplace else that doesn't reek of that son-of-a-bitch.]


"So maybe I should just make it easier for everyone and just clear out, huh?" That was her cue. She'd had enough of this place as it was, finding little time to find herself in the last month as she submerged herself in work. Katarina pushed herself up off of the chair, her arms only slightly shaking from her exhaustion as she braced herself. She stood and started for the door, wondering if that idle threat meant anything to anyone in the room--her director, the department shrink...or her wizard mentor.

She had little remorse running through her as she started to step away, but part of her was a little liberated.

[Get out while you can.]
Last edited by Katarina Bauer on Thu Jun 01, 2017 5:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
by: Orion
#11232
Doctor Patricia Clark was, above all else, a professional dedicated to the mental welfare of those around her. She had seen Katarina before, but hadn't recognized her in this rail thin, angry woman. What she did recognize was the eye tracking, hand wringing, and mouthing of a one sided conversation that indicated auditory hallucinations.

"How long have you been hearing voices, Bauer?"

The agent was already on the way to the door, but Clark hoped that calling out the subtle sign would be enough to cause her to stop and reconsider getting help. Clark stayed seated even though Orion had moved to intercept the woman. Her clear, blue grey eyes searched Kat's haunted expression, trying to make a connection.
#11236
Her destination: Her desk. Her obstacles: Everyone in the damn office. Katarina just wanted to go, her head was pounding like there was ongoing construction in her skull, every tool known to man slamming and smashing against her brain. This place was practically suffocating her. Orion had moved to stop her from leaving, and she bit her tongue when she really felt like snapping at him for getting in her way. "What are you doing, kid?" Katarina opted for a nicer, albeit blunter approach to the younger Agent, when what she really wanted say was that she would physically shove him if she had to, just to get by.

However, Katarina felt her entire body run cold when the young doctor spoke up from her seat.

/Busted./
[Your fault. Didn't move fast enough.]


Katarina slowly turned around and narrowed her eyes at the doctor. Those dim blue eyes blinked a couple of times before she looked at Director Jones and scoffed. "Wait, I was brought here for a god damn intervention? That's what we're here for?" She laughed, with little amusement behind it. "Oh great. Had I known, I would have put on my best smile and told you I'm doing fine. S'what everyone else in this bloody place does." Her shoulders sank as she gave a great big sigh. No one was going to budge and as it stood, the angry-looking wizard standing in her way wasn't going to give up his role as human barricade until she complied.

"Fine. But I'm not talking here. I'm not talking about any of this shit in front of anyone except the Doc." If they wanted to give her demands, she'd twist them to her own demands too. Give and take. It was more than what she ever felt she got from Matt...
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by: Orion
#11238
Trish nodded. It was a fair request.

"Good. I wouldn't ask you to forfeit your rights of privacy. Official meet and greet, I'm Doctor Clark. My interest in this is to help you find your best solution in this. Not the department's, not anyone else's. All I ask of you is your honesty and your availability. Show up and talk. We'll figure it out from there."

She remained seated until Kat agreed, then stood and led her to her office a floor below. The office had soft blue lighting and smelled of lavender. Pictures of calming landscapes decorated the walls and a water fountain burbled happily.

Unlike other office furniture, Clark's chairs were poofy and comfortable. A mini fridge stood in the corner, supporting a state of an elephant balancing a ball on its trunk. Clark pulled out two bottles of water and handed one to Kat before sitting.
#11273
"Alright."

So she got to keep her badge and her wand. The gun? Cole still had it but she didn't need that where she was headed. With one last, cold look to Jones and another to Agent Burgess, Katarina followed Clark downstairs to what she assumed was her office. Lavender hit her nose and what used to bring her a calming wave of relaxation only made her more tense, but she wasn't sure why. She couldn't believe she actually agreed to come here, but she felt like there was no other option, since Burgess wouldn't let her leave the way she wanted to: storm out in a blaze of glory.

Katarina hesitantly took a seat and accepted the offering of a bottle of water with a nod. "Thanks."

[Look who got her ass stuck in the Shrinks office.]
/You really think this is gonna help you? HA!


She shifted uncomfortably in the chair, setting the bottle of water on her lap and she brought her eyes down to it for a focal point...to help silence the voices. Kat quietly hoped and prayed this would go by quickly.
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by: Orion
#11283
Quiet was sometimes good. Sometimes it was bad, though. And sometimes, it was because it was three in the danged morning and nobody wanted to be alive at this hour.

Clark was definitely feeing the last one. Thankfully, water eased the exhaustion and helped her stay alert.

"So Jones has a list of questions she wants answers to. We're gonna toss those out and forget them. It's like I told you earlier, I'm here to help you find your best answers...so if I'm going to do that, I'd like to know what questions you have. They can be for me, for yourself, for life in general..."

Clark had heard Jones on the phone. While it had been a one sided conversation, Clark got the gist of it. Kat had hurt Matt, her ex boyfriend, and had a gun on him thank goodness she didn't pull the trigger. Clark knew Matt in passing. She knew Klaus better, but Matt was Klaus' best friend. This whole mess was, well...a mess.
#11303
"What am I really doing here?" First question right out of the gate came almost unexpectedly, but a very fitting set of words. Katarina held the bottle of water in her hands and spun it around in circles and she watched it, carefully, instead of bringing her gaze up to the doctor sitting across from her. The other questions would come later, she figured.

[That's a stupid question.]
/Really? Like she'd give you a straight answer anyway./


She patiently sat and waited with her head down, fixated on the water that she badly needed in her system, but she decided to keep the bottle sealed and in hand for now. Clark was watching her every move so Kat knew she had to be extra careful with her actions...if only the voices in her head would stop for just one damn moment. The doctor caught that right away. How did she know? Did she have a physical tell that made it obvious there was something else there? Someone else, even?

"Is this just because I attacked him, or is it because you guys think I'm sick..." She scoffed at that. She wasn't sick. She was just miserable as shit, and found other ways to exert her anger, which came as a blinding rage sometimes. Working out, punching the bag, sparing with her cousin. Her diet consisted of Whiskey and the occasional vodka. Water, if she felt a little less inclined to partake, which was rare. Sleep was rare too. This wasn't just about a boy. This was about how she put herself out there, made herself vulnerable, and had her heart and soul effectively crushed. Never mind the outside factors that destroyed her too, a nuclear implosion that ruined her from the inside out.
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by: Orion
#11310
That was a good question, especially if Kat felt like she was here against her will. Clark watched the woman carefully, noting the scars in her hand and the hardness in her attitude.

"That's a fair question. Are you honestly able to say that you're okay? Because to me, I see someone who has lost a lot of weight recently, who has scars on her hands that remind me of a form of self harm, who attacked a defenseless prisoner. From what I heard about the situation, you were angry. That's understandable. But is that who you really are, or is that something new? And by new, I mean would you have done that six months ago?"

She kept her analysis conversational. Kat was angry and tired, hurting. Something triggered this change. It wasn't just Matt. He bore the brunt of her anger because he was someone who could be attacked, but if he was the target, she'd have called after succeeding in hurting him. There was something more.
#11403
Katarina kept her eyes away from the doctor, but at the mention of the scarring on her hands, she retracted even further. Embarrassed at the observation, Katarina tugged down on the cuffs of her hoodie as she made a weak attempt at covering up said markings. She'd been triple, no, quadruple timing it at the gym downstairs, and when she couldn't sleep she found herself in her own home gym, beating the shit out of the punching bag until her hands were destroyed and completely numb from the pain and alcohol she downed to stifle it. The cuts on the back of her hand, however, those were more than just fighter wounds...Katarina had a tendency of scratching at her own skin when she was haunted by her anxiety. She'd be so lost in thought, she wouldn't realize they were gashed, torn open and fully bleeding until it started dripping on the floor. They'd since scabbed over, but were ever present, staring Clark right in the face, and Clark presented her with a query--a key to a door that she'd much prefer to keep latched shut.

She sighed and lightly shrugged, as she finally pulled her gaze up to look across at her, those dim blue eyes locking in with Clark's. "What do you want from me, doc? You want me to tell you what a mess I am?" Katarina huffed. "It's pretty obvious, yeah?"

To her assessment of the Devil? Katarina had to hold back some heavy, hearty laughter. Matt? defenseless? HA!

[If you only knew the real piece of work behind that mask...]

Katarina thought of her words before she let them loose, and she just shook her head. "Perhaps."

Maybe she didn't let it stew long enough...

"I'm sorry, am I right or wrong when I say that Matt is a traitor? Fought against his own people alongside some witch, acting as a bloody vigilante, savior to the people. Look doc, no offense to wannabe assistant director Cole up there--but the Devil wasn't answering questions. Speaking in riddles--he was just going around and around and around and..."

/Defending that bitch./

Kat's face was stone cold as she stared at Clark. "I did what I had to do to make him speak up. Worked, right?" She smirked.
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by: Orion
#11406
Clark took notes on Kat's reactions and words. What did Clark want? Understanding.

"I don't need you to tell me that. I need you to see it for yourself and want to change. I need you to want to accept help."

Clark watched and listened again to Kat's backlash against talking about Matt. Her defiance and smugness about fixing the perceived problem told Clark that there was something deeper to the issue.

"Actually, no. He's in the medical ward right now with internal bleeding and syncope. Until he's stabilized, protocol mandates that interrogations stop. It wasn't your case anyway, Kat. Why does he upset you so much?"
#11409
[She's digging. Maybe for you to play the pitiful act? Maybe for you to feel bad for what you did?]
But I don't.

Kat remained expressionless as Clark gave her rundown about her exes current whereabouts. Her eyes didn't twitch or flicker, her lips didn't tremble, and her cheeks certainly didn't flush. She was cold. Inside she was raging like a feral beast trapped in a cage, fighting with the voices that were condemning her or commending her for her work in interrogation, but she didn't let them out now. None of those thoughts were for Clark. They were for her. That's all.

"A little too personal for the first session, innit?" Kat retorted, flatly. She blinked a couple of times before tilting her head. She hadn't realized it yet, but her hands were busy clawing at the label on the waterbottle, scraping little ribbons out of the paper with her nail. She knew that Jones wouldn't let her off that easy. Or hell, maybe she would, if she fought the doctor hard enough with this forced treatment. Clark could shift the conversation however she wanted to make things 'comfortable' here, but Katarina didn't feel comfortable in the least. She was being hounded just as much as the Devil was in that interrogation room. That's exactly what this was, an interrogation. Packaged a little differently, but a questioning, nonetheless.
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