- Wed May 24, 2017 6:02 pm
As much as she didn’t want to, Kara relaxed her grip and let him slip away. He didn’t move far, however, as she watched him turn to lean along the waist-high railing, but the distance was enough to make her shoulders sink a bit. Kara’s expression was somewhere between confused and upset, but she didn’t say anything when he took post solo, away from her, when all she wanted was to be held. Jace might have turned to look at her but she stood off to the side, about a foot and a half away from him, on her claimed piece of the balustrade. Kara could still see him in her periphery, but she let her green eyes focus on the open space; the sights from her balcony spanned over the training grounds and beyond into the trees, and their little den could be spotted from here too. It was nice out.
And he didn’t just scoff and turn heel on her…that was rather surprising. The old Jace, the one she first met, would have laughed at all of this, then yelled at her for all of this, calling her far worse names than just stupid, paint her with all the colorful Jace-isms, and leave her in the dust with nothing but a half-assed wave and a cackle. Not this time. Of course, circumstances were quite different now. They’d tolerated each other. Understood each other. Slept together—but that wasn’t even one of the major factors for this unusual bond that had formed between them. They just…worked well together.
“You know I always want you around,” Kara felt a smile tug at her lips as she said that, looking down to the floor for a brief second before bringing her eyes up again. “For this, though…I’d like you nearby. It’s already going to look suspicious with my father and Jaleth in the room, so I hope you understand.” Keeping up appearances with the general population at the safe house was second in line to prioritizing this to go smoothly and without anyone getting hurt. This offer was her happy medium of knowing he’d be there in a heartbeat if she called for him, and keeping him out of the room if at all possible so he wouldn’t provide a distraction for her. Distraction in more than one way, as she knew she’d have to keep his anger and murderous rage in check from simply being around Liam after he’d harmed her. Somehow Kara assumed Shadow was going to set up shop somewhere close by too, given her distance to the situation. But if Jace had other orders for his beta, Kara wasn’t going to object. They were allies, surely, but it wasn’t their job to protect Kara. Kara was supposed to be able to protect herself, as she was a former auror after all. “Just with everything with Casey and…” Another bomb to drop, or fire to start--but one that would be discussed at another time, perhaps?She exhaled deeply, “With the plans and the Order and this life bollocks—I just want something to go smoothly for me, for once. You know? Is that stupid or vain for me to just need something to not fall to shit? I mean, to get from point A to fucking B it’s a fucking obstacle course, every God damn time.”
Lots of people were in you reap what you sow mode with Kara, most of the onlookers and people outside of the situation, that is. Plenty of what was being said was behind her back, and when she caught wind of it she had to let things roll off her back, because engaging in conversation like that, being the Leader and all, would seem improper and unprofessional. Ugh. They were butting into her life, calling her things, making fun of her jacked up love life, and she would be the bad guy?
(It also wasn’t lost on Kara that she’d cursed multiple times in one breath. Perhaps she had been spending too much time with Jace lately. Not that she was complaining.)
“As far as a plan,” She sighed and shrugged. How awful. She’d never thought she’d have to plan for her own divorce, not like this. Kara needed bodyguards from a loose cannon, the shell of a man she once loved. She needed an audience to witness the separation, to ensure her safety, and to get him the hell away from her as soon it was all over. “He’ll be escorted in, and like I said—Jaleth and my dad will be there, Jon if he can help it, I’m sure, unless he’s tied up in the infirmary. But Liam... I-I know he’s going to want to talk. Apologize if he has any sort of sympathetic bone in his body, but I highly doubt that anymore. I’ll be listening but I won’t hear him, if that makes sense.” Kara huffed, shaking her head slowly. Liam could say his sorries and give a please give me a second chance argument at her, but she would knock that bullshit right out of the park, swatting it away because she would have none of it. None. “I just…don’t care anymore, you know?” It was a partial lie, that she didn’t care. She was just listless, anxious, and uncertain as she’d never done anything like this before in her entire life. Kara fidgeted some, and she bit her lip as she stared down at her hands. It was a beat or two before she spoke again.
“I-I had the papers drawn before we left for Diagon and all of that…all he has to do is sign his bloody name on the bloody papers and just be on with it.” Kara’s heart sank. With his vicious attack on her, Kara thought this would go smoothly. She hoped there would be little in the way of remorse or regret. While she didn’t regret demanding the severance, Kara was more devastated than anything; The man she trusted and loved, someone who vowed to protect her, treated her in such an unforgiveable manner that it led to this? The anguish sat at the bottom of her heart as she stood there in silence, recalling some of the happier memories. Or rather, trying to. Nothing made her happy when it came to Liam. Thinking of him only brought her pain, physically and emotionally and it rendered her a silent statue for a few moments.
She crossed her arms as she fought back the tears. Merlin, Jace had seen enough of those from her in the last couple of weeks to last a lifetime. Counting those and the many times she’d been rendered to sobbing and wailing or thrashing belligerently because life had its way of completely crushing her heart to pieces? Kara was just surprised she had any tears left in her at this moment. She brought one hand to her forehead, covering her eyes, and her words came out, though barely a whisper: “I just want this to be over already.” Between the dread of preparation, the dread of seeing him, and the dread of the outcome…
Kara was already tired.